Ennui and the 4 of Cups Across Decks

What to do when you feel…nothing? Examine the 4 of Cups in several decks, get a good look at it, eat an apple, wait for something to happen, try to muster up enthusiasm for the sixteen projects you have on-the-go, eat a strawberry, eat homemade potato and leek soup, look through a bunch of old art magazines that you bought ten years ago.

Wait. Slump in the chair, look out the window at cats passing by, go to the library, hang with insomnia for a bit, clench your teeth, read about the 14th century, read about old varieties of roses, vacuum out the fan on your laptop, clean the kitty litter, look at the wall, wonder if the guardian angel appears in the mirror of your dresser or leaps from behind the bathroom door, exiting with a graceful dance after bouncing in to perform various miracles for you.

Wait some more, do laundry and hang the clothes on the rack in the front hall, where you haven’t painted the beige wall a grey colour with a white tree yet, eat a slice of mango and contemplate re-heating jasmine tea in the microwave, sigh and look out at the little girl in the pink coat walking her dog as she skips by going downhill in front of your house and laughs.

Well, you get the drift, hence the 4 of Cups. There is a scent of self-flagellation or self-indulgence with this card. Be wary travellers in self-pity!

I have a large collection so only pulled a few decks at random. Strangely, this has rather cheered me up. Nothing like a good ramble through cards to perk me up. My favourite card (at least this time) was the one from the Infinite Tarot, a deck I don’t see used much but I like the artwork.


Natural forces have you trapped. Oh yeah, I knew it couldn’t be me (cough). Mention here is made of being fearful of death, poor diet, malnourishment, and a lot of negative self-talk. Your own thinking encourages this downfall. Improper choices in thought and deed—look there for rescue.


Here we all are turning away, closing our eyes, with our sad sack mouths, oblivious to that nice kestrel offering us a possibility. Sometimes it’s good to turn away, get a bit of rest, cure your weariness of life with a quiet spell, but not drunkenness. The danger is in never coming back to life and all the good, positive things in life.


The Experimental Tarot has a woman contemplating her ecstatic vision of life. The problem is she’s trapped in a moat. That big hand might be holding her up or holding her in place. Another dreamer with her eyes closed, drifting into a permanent state of bliss while missing the action of life. The German word graben on the card means past or to dig, dig in the past. We get our English expression “grub in the earth” from this word. Put your head in a hole in the earth, don’t ever look at what’s happening now. Oh, she’s in ecstasy, but the things she’s contemplating aren’t real. She’s floating in a moat, permanently wet, come back to reality missy.

In the Scapini deck it’s like all the visions are held in urns, unable to get out and she won’t play, won’t ride her dragon. Eyes covered again, we mustn’t look at the good things, the possibilities. Sad faces everyone.


Don’t you just love the grey and taupe tones she’s used in the Linestrider? It captures the feeling and her eyes are closed, her head is wrapped in a scarf, and she has a large fish on her chest. The fishy emotions have obscured her breasts, the bubbles coming from the fish pop and the sounds “Sad sack, wet blanket” envelop her.

The Aquarian picture is similar to the Fradella in the first group, the hand of God offers life and a big cup but he/she won’t look. The lady in the Heart Tarot is reading a letter, perhaps the final letter from a long-ago sweetheart, dreaming of joy and love, she sits slumped at the table barely holding her head up. The hermit crab in the Animal Wisdom contemplates the glory and protection of shells.

Wet blankets and sad sacks, steeped in wine, misery, and about to go over the falls, there must be better choices. Swim to shore, dry off and get out your pencils and draw a cartouche! Of course, the exact cure for sad sacks, drawing cartouches. Add a lizard, add a condor, get the wet sack off the condor and go. Start in small steps to drag yourself to shore, concentrating on the thorn-tailed rayadito in the tree. What do you mean you don’t see it, it’s bright yellow and black, it’s right there?

Open your eyes.



100 Grams of That and Cherry Flavouring



Patriot is balancing force with wisdom here, he’s balancing antihistamines for allergies with cough syrup for the virus from hell.

I am unconcerned, having achieved balance of mind with a big, fat biography of William Morris that came in on inter-library loan yesterday. For an insomniac like me, a virus is both blessing and curse, because I feel very sick yet have such peaceful, long sleeps as my body tries to repair itself.

I just don’t want the cough to turn into bronchitis and necessitate a trip to the doctor for antibiotics.

Phlegm be gone! Justice is mine.



Jynx Has a Little Lie Down

FOUR OF BLADES (4 of Swords)


The cards got this right, I have a bad cold and have been in and out of bed all day. I should know that when I feel hopelessly down emotionally there might be a physical component to it, like a blooming virus. I’ve lost all my taste, so even a tea isn’t appealing, so I’ve switched to ice water.

I love in the booklet where they say…”wounded but alive.”

Atta boy Jynx, just lie down for a bit.



Limelight Ruminates on Men’s Hair Care

Limelight and his family enjoy the perfect day after spending time grooming themselves.

TEN OF MASKS (10 of Cups)


Mrs. Limelight was noticing that Mr. Limelight’s hair was looking a bit straggly. When his hair grows out it tends to make him look older and somehow powerless, like an aged man who has lost his effectiveness in the world, and thus he loses his confidence and emits a shadow of flickering passivity. And you thought it was just a haircut!

After their morning tea she convinced him to let her cut his hair as it hadn’t been cut since June. He wasn’t going to wash his hair but who wants to cut damp, greasy hair? Off to the bathroom for Big L. and a shampoo before the spousal stylist took her scissors to him. A few minutes later they were done and Limelight could go about his business secure in his masculinity and aura of power and action.

The next day Limelight trimmed Mrs. Limelight’s hair before she showered. Then the kids got a trim, and laundry is in the machine getting ready to be hung out to dry in the sun. Gosh darn, it’s a fuchsia and green kind of day.

Men’s hair care: who knew it was so important?



Shapeless Shadows of Inaction

Dang, for all the good of two days I was back to hovering about the bedroom until 4 or 5 a.m. unable to sleep. Tinnitus is back and driving me crazy. The spouse and I aren’t speaking much—we haven’t found the balance of his retirement yet.

NINE OF STAVES ( 9 of Wands)


This character is Goldenrod, a reminder of allergy season no doubt and defence against the dark forces of pollen.

I used to read at night with the radio on in the living room, but the spouse likes to watch TV at night for hours after a huge, heavy meal, and it’s bringing me down. I used to eat lightly at night, and avoided watching junk and wasting time when I could be reading and listening to lovely jazz music. We have separate interests, I suppose I go watch TV for company.

I feel like a shapeless person who does nothing and has no purpose. This card implies a break to recharge personal power. This is actually sometimes a card of retirement in the literal sense, like resting, of getting ready to do something else, of waiting. Patience, keeping your counsel. It also points out the one idea or attitude you are clinging to quite firmly. Tension in Goldenrod holding his stance reminds me of my own chronic muscle tension.

I want to watch television when there is an actual program on that is good, instead of sitting and waiting, drifting through station after station with the remote fruitlessly trying to find something interesting. He often says he wants company but I can’t sit and watch four hours of golf on a Sunday and then another 4 hours of nothing. I’ve tried to do art or embroider in front of the television but particularly for art, I find I can’t concentrate and enjoy the process.

If it means I’m alone all the time and he’s alone I can’t see another way. I am giving up my life for inanity. I have nothing to do, and when I try to do something I hit a wall of pain. It feels pointless.

It’s one of those “I don’t know” days.



Solitaire Nabs The World

Thank goodness for Tylenol. I was able to sleep as the Tylenol dissolves the nerve pain, or blocks it anyway so I can at least sleep. I had to take one during the day today as well. I don’t like to take it for a long time as it’s bad for the liver, but during a crisis I suppose it’s better than nothing, as I can then rest.



The character is called Solitaire, and she looks pretty feisty. She took my hand and said “Keep going, I am here.”

This is a good card, and we spent five hours yesterday cleaning bedrooms and moving furniture, washing walls and floors, and cleaning the bathroom, then had a meeting with a new contractor last night to do the bathroom. He should be able to do it in November. I hope the snow stays away long enough to get the venting pipe for the new fan through the roof.

As well, we had the car detailed today. First time ever, but after five years of commuting 1,000 kms per week it needed professional help. Cleaned and shampooed, it looks wonderful considering it is five years old. We have 235,000 kms on the engine but hopefully we can keep it going for a few years.

We went to the library and got some books we had on reserve, so a great day, as one might expect from Solitaire. I am still eating fruit and drinking lots of water. We are having salmon and steamed vegetables for dinner so that sounds good.

Good, good, chipping away at it…