My insomnia has become so bad and now I have all over nerve pain from head to ankles, layered over chronic muscle tension, pelvic and knee pain. Today I am fasting. I have had some fresh fruit juice, but I’m mostly drinking room temperature plain water or warm water with a bit of fresh lemon.
I always look to the Ironwing Tarot first with regard to health. For some reason it has that ability to look at what’s really going on. I know it’s food and perhaps additives, preservatives, weight gain but…
THREE OF BLADES (3 of Swords)
3 OF BLADES
3 OF SPADES
The shrikes and thorns (shrikes impale their prey on thorns) are like immediate stabbing pain. The trident carries with it double-bladed words of truth, it cuts through illusions that are obstacles. The trefoil window shows one pane missing, one cracked, and one broken.
I resonated with this thought from Lorena:
“Even the fear of ‘What if…?’ is exposed as a delusion.
I thought it would be interesting to explore the exact meanings of delusion and illusion. That’s the Blade of intellect and analysis kicking in. Rightly so.
Delusion = Latin deludere = de = from, away + ludere = to play; To mislead or deceive the mind.
Illusion = Latin illusio = mocking, deceit; comes from illudere = to make sport of; comes from in=toward, against + ludere = to play.
In the Tarot of the Absurd, with wings flying off, this angel seems to be all sinew and self-stabbing defeatism. The knives cause pain and cut his anchor.
In the Diary of a Broken Soul Tarot, the woman in the 3 of Spades seems to be sacrificing herself at the altar of pain. She has dressed it up with candles and pretty clothes, but she is still sacrificing herself.
Delusions mislead, illusions make fun of you or you play against yourself perhaps. Not actually nice things to do to yourself, are they?
Maybe that’s the message here: that I can’t pretend or I mock myself. Either do it or don’t do it, heal or die, but don’t go around in this continual loop of delusion regarding health.