Jay Squawking About Equilibrium

I felt good today, we had two walks yesterday. I also kick-started a project yesterday from a few months ago. One of my pen pals made me two white doilies in fine crochet cotton, and I was perking along appliquéing them to a background so I could make pillows out of them, and I could not find pillow forms for them. Fabricland does not sell the great pillow forms they used to carry. So during a sale, I ordered two forms via mail order from the States and now I can get going again.

With cooler weather I will soon have to switch to my heavy duvet and these pillows are to go with that.  Then I need to finish the winter nightie I embroidered and sew it together. I can’t seem to settle myself to sew on my quilt until I get these older projects done. I did however lay out the quilt blocks and got them in order and labelled ready to baste together for machine quilting individually.




I actually found a feather from a Stellar’s Jay in the garden two days ago, and here he is. We have four of these birds that hang around gobbling food and they are raucous and noisy but they bring so much life to the garden.

This reminds me of balance and equilibrium in day-to-day matters. I felt good, I was up at 5:30 bursting with energy and after some journalling I came down to do e-mail and what is there staring me in the face on the Internet: 50 people gunned down in Las Vegas and hundreds more injured.

It’s like those two swords are my health problems and world health problems, and I am caught between. Every day there is something horrible on the news or some horrible Twitter comment by Comb-over Caligula, another terror attack or a nuclear threat and poor leadership all around. Stewardship, leadership starts with one person, yourself.

One of the things about this card is avoidance, avoiding what’s in front of you to save yourself emotional pain. It never works, better to face it, face the reality of the world, take steps to heal what you can, look to the path ahead. Avoidance is no answer to life’s worries.


Struggle to Find the Fulcrum of Harmony

I drew this yesterday for both yesterday and today.



I often call this the parlay card which seems apt as we do legal things today. “Fairness in law” is one of the key phrases in this deck for this card, but it’s also about equilibrium, fairness, and balance and harmony. All those things I find difficult when other people are involved.

Reconcile opposing forces, and get that fulcrum working for you. A physics reference— ya gotta love it.

Compose Thyself Thumb Sucker

Oh-oh, the doctor is sick, the office is closed until next week, and I’ve got a corner of my right thumb under the nail filled with blood and pus! Rural living at its finest. What to do, what to do?




Today I need to think about composure and balance instead of being immobilized by fear and pain. “But Universe, finger infections can blow up quickly and take your finger with them!!!”

If all else fails I can go to a walk-in clinic somewhere. There isn’t one around here but if we drive an hour I might find one on Saturday. Otherwise the thumb feels slightly better in a gentle saline soak. If I keep soaking and soaking it, and imagine germ fighters from my immune system rushing to the spot and eradicating all infection it might work.

Of course, that’s the rational thing to do.




The Universe Propels Me and My Crystalline Ear Forward

I have been having a time of it. Last week I developed benign paroxysmal positional vertigo, a torture from hell due to crystals or debris in the inner ear. It was so alarming I actually went to the doctor for the first time in nine years. Consultation, blood tests and 14 x-rays later it looks like my chronic pain is some sort of damage to the sacroiliac joint and possibly arthritis in the spine too.

Doing the x-rays with various positioning, and walking up and down the big hill at the hospital sent me into yet another crisis of pain and severe leg cramps. I had a couple nights of attendant feelings of hopelessness and despair.

There’s a song off a Paul McCartney album I bought for the spouse called Appreciate that has lodged in my mind due to its rhythmic beat and words.

Lift up your head,
And remember what your life is
Don’t have to give it all away
When you’re left for dead
In the middle of a crisis
You must appreciate the day


I played that twice yesterday with tears streaming down my face. You do what you can.

Today for my Tri-Sacred draw I am using the Diary of a Broken Soul card for my lead.

2 of Spades (2 of Swords)
2 of Blades
Two of Blades


If you look closely at the two sceptres, they are like swords skewering the palms of her hands. Wind catches her hair and uplifts it. She stands with dark eyes of despair. I think of Air and thoughts and how you rule yourself, uplift yourself, oversee yourself. You wear the pleated gown you made for yourself. If you are crucified, turn your palms upward and ask for help. That’s why we have medical support. Bring yourself back to balance.

In the Tarot of the Absurd, arcing arms are like the arc in an electrical circuit. The balance of difference, the balance of people and atoms. Bare feet again, grounded. Dare you touch the Other, dare you say you need help? They look in-sync but one side is slightly different than the other.

The Two of Blades from the Ironwing reminds me of a silk screen art project I did in grade 8. It was a perfect seahorse except for one little glitch that blobbed up in the tail. So much for silk screening, it requires a great patience.

This card depicts 19th century Chinese fisherman’s knives. I like the idea of studying mechanisms with this as Lorena states in the book. The picture of the two blades in balance, like a pelvis, like sacroiliac joints. Don’t take risks with details.

I was just thinking that to myself: make the right choices in what you eat and how to move and forget worrying about details and a timeline. Swing freely, be flexible in mind and body. Two sides, mind and body, and two halves of the body, left and right. The point of these blades untie knots in fishing nets. This experience and current health crisis will untie the knots in the net I have made. I also think that untying knots requires time and patience. Some will be harder to pick out than others.

Go slowly and don’t damage the net. And whatever you do, don’t lie on your left side, the land of Vertigo.



Gliding with Gilgamesh

Daily Draw June 2nd, 2011


This is from the Fantastical Creatures Tarot and I found it amusing that on June 2 I would draw a 2 card.

Depicted on this card is Gilgamesh, enjoying yet another fruitful collection of Photoshop brushes, slaking his thirst on the creativity of others to being some light to the day.

Oh wait, that’s not the story, Gilgamesh was a Sumerian king, the son of a god, and the poetic epic of his life was written on clay tablets, which is why we know of him today. He is THE figure in Mesopotamian mythology and literature.

Although classified as a demigod, he was a historical figure and did exist and rule. He was obsessed with delaying his death and the search for immortality after he panicked when his friend Enkidu died, and in this picture he is looking into the eternal cycle of destiny as reflected in the pond. Here is a good site for reading a synopsis of the epic of Gilgamesh:


His friendship with Enkidu reminds me a lot of the friendship of Rumi and Shams, it has that reverberant quality.

This card is also about stalemate and delay and things not changing for a while. The word “tension” is mentioned which is where a lot of my chronic pain comes from, chronic tension, my muscles are locked up all the time. I had to gulp several aspirin last night to sleep, but I refuse to give in. You have to consciously end the stalemate. I bought a book this week about food and health and I’m finding several interesting things in it. I also bought another vegan cookbook.

This could go on for some time locked in the tension between two ways. But stalemate gives me a chance to rest and plan and learn new recipes. Gilgamesh was a vivid action man, so within stalemate you can still act. They are acts hidden, like the swords amid the green foliage on this card, and the snake half-hidden in the water, gliding along, waiting for the tension to break.

No Trespassing

Daily Draw December 12th, 2010


I rarely get this card, but for me it’s about protection or ritual defense maybe. The “feel” of things, which is an important aspect because I am usually a very visual person who sees before they feel.

The swan guards the heart, and the figure looks like he is carrying a child within the folds of the robe. Well, his sleeve hangs down as if covering something. Children, birth, the birth of ideas, and protection of that.

He is quite rigid and prepared to stand there for eons, warding off people. Denial or avoidance according to the book.

I am supposed to open my heart. I’d rather learn tablet weaving actually. “Open your eyes,” I’d rather sleep, the light hurts my eyes. To be fair, I have a bad cold and don’t feel engaged so it is a bit of a stalemate generally for health reasons.

This could be about procrastination too and I have to get going today and wrap presents to mail and finish my bookmarks which have been pressing for several days. No trespassing on my time, I have to complete the work.