My new book on emotional eating has some real revelations about looking after yourself, soothing yourself. “Self” being key because no one else is going to come along and rescue you, as much as you might wish for it. She also has some thoughts on boundaries I found interesting. I was always a person who lost myself in other people, I took on the mannerisms and vocal patterns of my friends. This is apparently a classic pattern for some, that needs to be balanced out with self-awareness, finding your own voice.
Which I did eventually through my card decks. Working with cards, and probably the emphasis on intuition and listening to your own voice, allowed me to be myself. I still have a problem trusting people and tend to withdraw and isolate myself, which is another way of avoiding emotion. Blah, blah, blah, I am working on it.
Today I thought I’d ask a question, something I rarely do, and thought a general “Tell me about soothing” would be good. For this draw I took my cue from the Ironwing Tarot and chose a card from there first.
Madrone of Coils – Water of Water (Queen of Cups)
Queen of Cups
Queen of Hearts
Another instance of getting the card you need. In the Ironwing, the Coils generally soothe and magnify emotions. Lorena used that exact word, “soothe” in her book. I started to cry. Imagine getting the exact word? Cards always know.
I’ve never really connected with the Queen of Cups, but here she is helpful, a pathfinder or guardian, someone who represents practical power. I love sea turtles, they are such beautiful creatures and this is a leatherback sea turtle. The crab by her head is an Ocellated Crab (Portunus sebae), named for the false eyes on its shell, representing the Madrone’s mirror-like qualities.
“She is difficult to know or see clearly because she reflects the subconscious of anyone she meets. Because of this, she may find others hard to reach. But she knows when to move closer, when to dive and let go, and when to float with the current”
And there I am, just when I didn’t expect myself. Give me shelter, yet I am the shelter.
In the Tarot of the Absurd, I notice her hair first, like tentacles, feeling, feeling others, reaching out, and the cup raised in a toast; she has a half-smile as if smiling at someone out of our visual site. My poor husband, after a hellish two-hour commute after a snowstorm, went to a meeting in a building across the city, had a dry sandwich for lunch and got a $250 parking ticket along with 20 other people, and spent 2.5 hours struggling to get home. Queenie says “Here’s to life, do your best.” To soothe herself she has put on comfortable clothes and is sitting in her favourite chair. Her feet are bare so she can sense and feel, the magnetic Earth energizing her feet, grounded despite the wildness of her hair.
The Queen of Hearts from the Diary of a Broken Soul Tarot has her third eye wide open. She is quite soothed by the water of emotion. Swimming calmly, letting it touch her, encircle her, mirror her. There is nothing to fear in the dark water, it is velvet comfort, deep with sea turtles swimming past your body. She gets to the bottom of things, this one, such keen eyesight. But always herself, calm and assured.
One thing about soothing: I can reach for food but I can also hug myself, stroke my head and shoulders, have a hot bath. I find hot liquids like soup or tea soothing. Water might be the best though, hot water and lemon, cool water in a tall glass, distorting and magnifying glass, the mirror of your body’s ratio of water, the mirror of the Self.
I am Water of Water.
I never knew that.