You Always Have Your Cat

Yesterday I was up during the night so I slept in about an hour later than the spouse. When I got up the house was about 15-16° C and I was cold and in pain and I asked him why he hadn’t turned the heat on and he said he wasn’t in the other room, he was in the family room with the woodstove going. Oh gee, now as well as not turning the heat on we are relegated to living in one room.

I got upset. I am very careful with the electric heat and only turn it on when necessary. I save hydro by not using the dryer, I turn lights out, I conserve heat, but I want some comfort when I’m at home too, you know? This was way too far, almost irrational. My neighbours spend $400 per month in the winter to heat their house. I spent $93 last month during the worst of winter, and I had the heat on in my living room during those months so I know it’s been fine.

It made me feel worthless, like I’m a welfare case who can’t afford to heat the house. I finally fled back to my bedroom for a nap and turned the heat on up there and I was nice and cozy. I could hardly speak to him I felt so hurt.

I pulled two cards today to ask about this:



Latex is very talented and successful and her work is appreciated by all. Poor old Joshua has had his heart broken and can’t seem to get beyond it. His cats are comforting him. Don’t suffer in silence Josh, talk about it.

Well, I took my cue from Joshua and explained to the spouse why I like the heating on and how it made me feel yesterday when he refused to turn it on. I wonder with Latex if I simply did not feel appreciated and honoured by having the comfort of some heat in the house after I’d worked hard to conserve hydro and keep our bills down for months?

I think so. And remember, you always have your cat, no matter how poorly the parsimonious fink you live with behaves.

Another thing about Latex, she knows her destiny and takes care of herself, she chooses to be successful. Joshua could learn from that to speak up for himself, talk that out before it turns to resentment.

Today was a better day. Josh took the cats to the grocery store and bought them some broccoli. They were ecstatic!


8 thoughts on “You Always Have Your Cat

  1. I’m glad Latex and Josh encouraged you to talk things over with the spouse – resentment is corrosive. For years, I lived with a guy who didn’t like the heating turned on while he was in bed, but who always slept in late (he tended to work nights). It meant many freezing mornings for this early bird, and I hated it. Thank goodness I finally stood up for myself and left! Better, though, to have talked it over before it got that far.

    As for Latex, I see there your practice and skill both at saving energy, and at harmoniously communicating your needs 🙂

    • Aha, a person who understands! The spouse grew up in the slums of a city after the war–seems to haunt him sometimes. They were on food stamps until well into the 1950s. I try to be understanding of his fear about money but I constantly wear two tops and two blankets around the house and it gets tiresome.

      “Harmoniously communicating your needs”…I had to stop when my voice got higher and higher and my voice started to shake. Haha.

      Thanks Chloe, you always have a gentle presence.

      • Ha ha, well, violins can sometimes get that way, too, if you get a bit out of control. Back to the knowledge that you have the patience and discipline to achieve what you want – might just take a while 😀

        Wishing you a warm weekend!

  2. I have discovered in my years of marriage that men intuitively know very little. 😀 Glad you talked to him and explained your side (though you clearly understand why he is a penny pincher).

    Cat’s like broccoli!?

    • The cats, being supportive creatures, went grocery shopping to support our man Joshua in his effort to eat real food and change his mood. In that scenario, they were really pretending to like broccoli so he would get enthused. Canny, intuitive beasts, they knew this would help.

      I wonder about men…at some point in our hunter-gatherer phase, men must have had greater intuitive ability, it kept them alive. Modern society discourages that, men have been slowly trained out of intuition–my belief anyway.

      Besides, he is so good at fixing things, getting things done, it’s rather admirable. While I’m still planning and making lists, the spouse leaps in and does the task–a miracle in my mind!

      • Yes, I think that explains it. They have been trained to be fixers and not supported in intuitive training.
        I think Canada might soon have an influx of Americans applying to come into the country. Our Tweeter-in-Chief is completely nuts.

        • I’m not sure why any rational person with leadership skills would use Twitter. Oh, I get it, they don’t! 😉 It’s very sad and vaguely disturbing, makes you uneasy about major decisions and foreign policy.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s