I unpacked 3 blue plastic bins and half of a large carton of fabric yesterday. It’s everywhere along with bits and pieces of boxes and crafts. I don’t know how I’m going to put it all away.
While unpacking one box I came across a large version of a card from the Portal Tarot. This was my favourite card from the deck and I can’t quite remember but I think Traci Darin make me a copy as a treat, just because it was my favourite.
14 – TEMPERANCE
Blending and balancing. Strangely, the teals and reds are the accent colours in my new living room; no wonder I love this card. Because of a dream I had early yesterday morning I thought of passages of life with this and how you stream along in life, and the portals you go through shrink in size as you leave them behind. Balance but also perspective, distance. The current you now flow in is larger, the massive portal surrounds you and there you are, going through.
I always get good things from this deck. At some point Traci and David had started working on the minor cards to create a full tarot deck but life interfered, they changed, they flowed through a different portal. I remember free-falling with imagination when I saw a sample of one of the minor cards, and feel regret, feel that missed fruition for the deck in its entirety.
Back to currents: given the current way of funding decks for independent publishers, I wish 14 years hadn’t passed, I wish they could get back to the Portal. I find it interesting when musicians revisit music they have played. I remember Glenn Gould’s two renditions of Bach’s Goldberg Variations, and I’ve always thought the one he did when older was better, more sensitive, nuanced. Authors and musicians can have a second crack at it sometimes.
After my dream, I was happy to see the portal of the past recede, to find it was gone, replaced by a larger circumstance of life. It is a good thing to move rather than stagnate, however I find myself thinking of the way you can reach into the past and pick the best things and revisit them. I still remember years ago reading that menopause was “reverse puberty” and I thought of the important things I left behind, like art and writing, and I plucked them back to me from the past. Like the co-mingling of spirit and flesh that Traci refers to in her notes for this card.