Of Cupcakes and Joists

Some people get anxiety about going outside, or speaking in public, or driving etc. I get anxiety about the load bearing wall in my house. Today I had to get up and check it carefully after five hours of sleep.

I have no idea why this thing started up. Maybe it’s a sub-conscious thing about not feeling supported or being too heavy? I’m good these days at stopping a full-blown anxiety attack. I’ve had two in my life and that’s enough, but it makes me wonder why this starts up. I can feel it there like the last time, which was three or four years ago.

QUEEN OF SWORDS

QueenSwords

Queenie says “What’s all this nonsense about walls cupcake?”

“I don’t know Queenie…” I say starting to flap my hands in front of my face and grimace.

“Get your anxiety workbook out dearie pie!”

“I don’t like icing Queenie.”

“You are in charge of your thoughts sweetie.”

“Yeah, okay, but what about the heavy porcelain tiles going in the bathroom?” Twitch, twitch, slight upheaval of the mind and some eyes screwing up tightly.

“The weight spreads out over a small 5-foot square area area with many joists and concrete block underneath.”

“Are you sure Queenie?”

“Yes, I am sure cookie.”

Queenie, just sitting down to eat an exuberantly decorated cupcake, is not impressed that I’ve interrupted her with this fatuous turmoil. She looks at me with her knife poised and says “Don’t be a drip.”

I nod and ponder walls and cross-bracing, overlapped joists, tripled slabs of wood, and metal support thingies. My hands start flapping, she looks up, icing dripping down her fork and says “I told you about this I’m not telling you again.”

“Uh-huh.”

 

 

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6 Comments on “Of Cupcakes and Joists”


  1. Great post, very touching

    • JJ Says:

      Thanks.

      One of my cats had to be rushed to the vet yesterday. He may have leukemia, or a bad virus or bacterial infection, we are waiting for secondary blood tests. That’s probably what set my anxiety off, but I still wonder “Why the wall thing?”

      The human brain is a strange organism.

  2. tarottiferet Says:

    Great post!

    You really brought Queenie to life there. She felt so real after reading that!

    I hope your cat is ok!

    • JJ Says:

      She came to life for me too. It’s my personal card and when I opened the deck I sort of thought “I don’t get it” but out she popped today with just the perfect Queen of Swords type message.

      It is unlikely my cat is going to be okay, he only weighs 4.2 pounds, but the vet is going the extra mile to see if she can help him or if it’s time to euthanize him. Upsetting and sad.


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