WOLF – NINE OF FOSSILS (9 of Pentacles)
HORSE – SPIRIT OF FREEDOM VII (The Chariot)
I have not been sleeping well and this morning I just did not want to get up but I was fully awake. I finally decided to do something right away when I got up, so I considered what priority my tasks had and then showered and put on clean clothes, did the dishes, fed the pets, and cleaned that all up and washed the counters. Little things, but they gave me some momentum.
Then I washed some bed linens while checking my e-mail, and hung them outside to dry in the sun (always a cheery thing) and had some breakfast.
I ordered two books on inter-library loan by Ezra Bayda who writes on Zen. One is called Beyond Happiness: The Zen Way to True Contentment and the other is At Home in the Muddy Water: A Guide to Finding Peace Within Everyday Chaos. I know these things, these thoughts of Zen and meditation but a refresher is ever needed. Particularly when anxiety rears up or I have a day when I want to give up.
So I’m having a cup of tea and reading Ezra. It’s funny these two cards came up, almost like a nudge that says, “Get going, fly and you will feel better, you will feel freedom,” along with a nudge from the Wolf on enjoying the garden, smelling the laundry drying in the sun, hearing the birds.
It’s similar to that Zen saying on enlightenment: Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water; after enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. The day to day grinds on, but it’s about finding peace within everyday chaos. Do those dishes, get into the shower and clean up, do laundry, all those things that ground us and can give us momentum and something to hold onto when our minds are spinning out of control.
Self-discipline, master instinct and impulse, release judgment and do what needs to be done. The Nine of Fossils is about that sort of thing, the maturity of commitment and yet enjoying what is, accepting what surrounds you. Both these cards speak of self-assurance, command, the kind of feelings I often don’t feel when I’m stuck in the house alone for weeks. And yet, commanding the everyday brings it back.
No need to force things, just sort of flow into and out of them, like a horse flying through air currents. I get scattered into several projects and then feel guilty so the Horse takes aim and goes, we are the vehicle, we decide.
It’s that kind of day, the kind of day where you decide what needs to be done and then you go through the tasks, one by one, peacefully, gently, no big angst, enjoying the doing.