I drew three cards from The Faeries’ Oracle for today, but first, what do you think is in the magic bag with the pear stencil?
This sort of thing rarely happens to me, but I found the badger figurines I wanted. Even though they’ve been retired by Schleich, the store I went to, the only store within miles and miles that carries them, had ONE badger left. I figure it’s a sign from God to take heart in life.
I also bought a few others: a wild rabbit, a wild boar, and a white-tailed deer fawn. The red fox by Papo that I wanted was not there, nor the Schleich chipmunk but I got the ones that mattered, the magical badgers. All of these animals are depicted in the Badgers Forest Tarot. Ah, the satisfaction of the perfect deck tie-in. Plus the boar is a reference to my maiden name, so I’ve always wanted one.
The fawn seems to have adopted Mr. Boar as her mother.
For today’s draw I actually asked a question. I have been deeply troubled by my distance and lack of connection to my property and garden lately. The last time I remember being connected to it was two years ago after my dog Abby died, when I used to take my other dog Izzy the Newf out to the garden with my sketchbook and materials and just find some peace from grief.
It was around this time that local yokels on ATVs started tearing up the path in the woods and putting deep ruts in the previously pristine path, making it hard to navigate for me with my knee and pelvis problems. I felt betrayed and cynical and sour. The noise of machines and other road traffic made me stop trusting a lot of things. A neighbour’s dog died on the same day Abby did and they were such pals, it was a golden moment in my life gone forever.
I asked in today’s draw what was going on with all this disconnection from my garden.
36 – SPIRIT DANCER
51 – THE TOPSIE TURVETS
8 – THE SINGER OF COURAGE
Spirit Dancer – This is about creative impulse and self-expression and maintaining sanity, getting the pain out, which was what I was doing two years ago. Perfection is death to the Spirit Dancer. Yes, wouldn’t it be perfect if animals lived forever with us and no one was rude and loud and screamed around on machines?
It also talks about the illusion of separation and reaffirming essential connections with others. I shrink from it but my withdrawal could in part be fuelling my withdrawal from everything, including nature.
All of that creative force is hidden in confusion and chaos, so spontaneous involvement with the creative arts is good right now. It’s good to nurture these things but bringing them out to share is good for the soul too. The reversal of this has a hint of obsession with it which reminds me of my obsession with perfection and the world I want that is no longer there.
The Topsie Turvets – I wrote a story about these fellows once. They love it when you’re confused and in a muddle. Confusion makes people grow eventually and they like to encourage that.
This is about perception, making an effort to see things from a different point of view. Have I made assumptions that are incorrect? Is the brick wall of misconception around me? Try to see things from the viewpoint of other people in the muddle with me. Let go of the attachment to my own point of view, to saying “Those people should not be riding ATVs.” See things as they really are not as I think they should be.
This pulled me up short. If I look anew I see 100 acres of woods belonging to a local farmer, of which about 97 acres are untouched by people. In that area there are many nesting spots, many dens and places of safety for the animals. Many ponds and streams and copses of trees and undergrowth where life is happening unimpeded by ATVs and the thoughtlessness of humans.
My neighbours and my husband shrug and concentrate on their gardens and go walking the woods as bugs allow. I see myself and my territory being attacked, ruined, destroyed, all the good memories lost forever. Maybe those ATV people enjoy getting out and riding in the woods, smelling the growth and ponds? They have a small footprint after all. Some people throw garbage in the woods and ponds—that’s simply ignorance not some devious plan to kill everything I value. Once they threw an old sign in a pond which we fished out. I was worried because I’d seen a pair of nesting ducks near there, quietly swimming. I felt these people were going to kill all the ducks and poison the ponds and ruin the woods forever.
It made me want to stay in the house and not come out, not see, because I was hurt that these people had no respect for the land and animals; they were attacking a way of life I held so dear. I don’t trust them, I’m afraid, I don’t feel safe, so I disconnected from everything, including my own garden. The Turvets tell me to look at it another way.
The Singer of Courage – Courage is also in the small things, to open your heart and keep it open requires courage. Fear will probably always be there, but you can experience fear and not be stopped by it.
“Learning to live with and manage the reactive animal within involves transforming emotions like rage and fear into courage through self-discipline and the help of the Singer of Courage.”
It’s that perception thing again—I have these fears and see the world the way I do, but it’s fear and self-limitation, I need to break through, transcend the fear and break through these limiting beliefs. Explore it, find out what I’m really afraid of, what else is going on, and then liberate myself.
And my Badger’s Forest cards are in transit to me, so I hope to get them this week. The Friends of the Forest are waiting.