The Universe Propels Me and My Crystalline Ear Forward

I have been having a time of it. Last week I developed benign paroxysmal positional vertigo, a torture from hell due to crystals or debris in the inner ear. It was so alarming I actually went to the doctor for the first time in nine years. Consultation, blood tests and 14 x-rays later it looks like my chronic pain is some sort of damage to the sacroiliac joint and possibly arthritis in the spine too.

Doing the x-rays with various positioning, and walking up and down the big hill at the hospital sent me into yet another crisis of pain and severe leg cramps. I had a couple nights of attendant feelings of hopelessness and despair.

There’s a song off a Paul McCartney album I bought for the spouse called Appreciate that has lodged in my mind due to its rhythmic beat and words.

Lift up your head,
And remember what your life is
Don’t have to give it all away
When you’re left for dead
In the middle of a crisis
You must appreciate the day


I played that twice yesterday with tears streaming down my face. You do what you can.

Today for my Tri-Sacred draw I am using the Diary of a Broken Soul card for my lead.

2 of Spades (2 of Swords)
2 of Blades
Two of Blades


If you look closely at the two sceptres, they are like swords skewering the palms of her hands. Wind catches her hair and uplifts it. She stands with dark eyes of despair. I think of Air and thoughts and how you rule yourself, uplift yourself, oversee yourself. You wear the pleated gown you made for yourself. If you are crucified, turn your palms upward and ask for help. That’s why we have medical support. Bring yourself back to balance.

In the Tarot of the Absurd, arcing arms are like the arc in an electrical circuit. The balance of difference, the balance of people and atoms. Bare feet again, grounded. Dare you touch the Other, dare you say you need help? They look in-sync but one side is slightly different than the other.

The Two of Blades from the Ironwing reminds me of a silk screen art project I did in grade 8. It was a perfect seahorse except for one little glitch that blobbed up in the tail. So much for silk screening, it requires a great patience.

This card depicts 19th century Chinese fisherman’s knives. I like the idea of studying mechanisms with this as Lorena states in the book. The picture of the two blades in balance, like a pelvis, like sacroiliac joints. Don’t take risks with details.

I was just thinking that to myself: make the right choices in what you eat and how to move and forget worrying about details and a timeline. Swing freely, be flexible in mind and body. Two sides, mind and body, and two halves of the body, left and right. The point of these blades untie knots in fishing nets. This experience and current health crisis will untie the knots in the net I have made. I also think that untying knots requires time and patience. Some will be harder to pick out than others.

Go slowly and don’t damage the net. And whatever you do, don’t lie on your left side, the land of Vertigo.




4 thoughts on “The Universe Propels Me and My Crystalline Ear Forward

  1. You are getting so much from these decks, I’d say. They are delving right inside and shaking things to the surface.

    The wonder of cards when they are used reflectively as healers.

    I really like that idea of untying knots, not rushing things, healing in your own time. A period of weighing things up before making a decision. Using the mind to unravel problems and issues without consulting the heart and our emotions.

    Three beautiful cards.

    • I was feeling so uninspired and thought to myself “Which are the decks that have the most meaning for me?” and it was these three.

      Not surprisingly, they are three decks, hand drawn by artists and so individual that there will never be anything like them. You cannot duplicate such imagination and individuality.

      It’s funny but before doing the three together, I used to pull cards from the Ironwing and they always seemed to tie into health.

      I got tired of people rabbiting on about the supposed darkness of the Diary of a Broken Soul. One idiot on the Jump the Shark forum actually called the title of the deck pretentious. If you want to call the truth pretentious I guess you can. For me, it truly is a window to the soul of someone, a gift in many ways.

  2. Haha, re the JtSF person calling the title pretentious. I think it is a beautiful and raw title. Real honesty. Not artists trying simply to show off and make a buck. But what would they know?

    There are too few of those ‘windows’ these days, Jude. Far too few. Many decks are like staring out onto a brick wall. No soul.

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