Jimmy Creates a Haunting Wurm

Five hours of sleep. Blah.



I could not get the colours right on this with my scanner. In the actual card the colour is flatter, the flowers blend in more with the green. That IS like nostalgia, where all the sharp edges and contrasts or contrariness of memory flattens out, leaving a green, pleasant thought that’s rather murky with time, rather soft; a soft focus of brighter greens and teal shadows. All the sweet green icing flowing down.

It is true that relying on the soft, pleasant focus of the past keeps you from fully enjoying and living in the present. The jazz radio station had a live session with songwriter Jimmy Webb, and I’d forgotten that he wrote the song MacArthur Park. My oldest sister liked that song when it came out.

It’s running through my mind like nostalgia, making me feel a bit ill. Those times are gone but the soft focus and the way music of that time had a haunting quality to it with odd, haunting chords, is pulling me a bit too much. I had a clinical depression when I was 20 that nearly leaped into a full breakdown, and one of the salient features of it was the keen focus I developed on music, I have to be careful of how much attention I pay to certain types of music from the 1960s.

Oh, don’t I sound like the nutter of the year? A friend of mine who is bipolar once told me that she has trouble listening to music because it tends to make her cycle. Knowing music can have beneficial, uplifting qualities, it is logical to assume it can go the other way as well.

And I’m playing MacArthur Park over and over again.



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