Reflections on Losing the Competition

Daily Draw November 15th, 2012

Lost in the interminable world of Windows Update, I thought back to the time when I nearly had the money to buy a Mac. I used to talk to some people online who said they would give me a Mac for my 50th birthday. Why I believed this is anybody’s guess, but I still really believed one would show up on my birthday. Lost in the clouds.

FIVE OF SWORDS

When you look at this card do you identify with the person in the foreground or background?

Yes, it’s me in the background, the one who gets lost in competition, and despite working harder than others, gets passed up for promotion.

I’m a background person, I love to work but I often find my hard work is taken as ambition or aggression depending on the insecurity of the person I’m working for. Actually I just like to keep busy and learn and push myself. This week I’ve been pushing really hard, organizing like mad, doing things in increments and getting a lot done.

I’d forgotten how much I like doing that. It’s the joy of that control, of organization and completion, that drove me at work. I don’t have the patience for the sort of nonsense that happens in groups of people at work; I am not politically astute where office politics come into it. I prefer to walk away.

The person on this card is saying: “Oh bugger it, I’d rather read a biography of Stephen Sondheim,” and far from being downcast, they are thinking of a necklace they can make inspired by Sondheim, distracted by the thought of blue glass beads and music, and how polonium seemingly has no biological role in the human body; they have completely forgotten the person who took advantage of them.

Yup, that’s definitely me back there.

 

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