Daily Draw April 25th, 2012
29 – LADY
The Lenormand lady and Gentleman are meant to be used as significators but I leave them in the deck to pop up randomly. It’s funny she popped up today as I was thinking of her yesterday because of the French blue of her main skirt and hat. I deliberately coloured her that way to reflect the French Revolution and I remember fiddling and redrawing her skirt to get the proportions right and repositioning her feet because the right one wasn’t under her body.
I am deciding on colours for my bedroom and bought a lovely fabric on sale for curtains, and I’m deciding whether to paint my furniture this French blue or tone it down to a robin’s egg blue. The lady has come to tell me what I already know: I want a pop of deep colour on the furniture. maybe not quite this saturated but close.
Either the furniture or the walls will pick up this soft blue in the curtains and then I can pop the furniture colour and pillows. Maybe, I have to think on it for a time. As you can see, I bought a nice cording for pillows, enough for two. I put eight books on hold from the library on decorating and sewing pillows and slipcovers to get some ideas.
I hesitated to draw two Tea Leaf cards but I felt like it, so flanking the Lady is Rat and Wreath, both not the greatest cards in the world. Yes, the sorrow and loss refers to losing my dog, whom I am still sobbing over a month later. Time and wreaths work their magic. I take my time with grief. I feel it is important to honour loss and feel it for a time than to pretend it doesn’t exist.
One person I used to talk to sent me a ranting e-mail about 3.5 years ago saying I was just like her sister-in-law and I was going to carry the hurts of 50 years around with me forever. Except I am not her sister-in-law and I carry around what I carry around for as long as it takes to work through it. That’s life, you take your time and work through it. Grief or loss of some kind is not a stop-watch situation. You need the time you need and it’s nobody’s business how long that is.
The Rat reminds me of how people pretend to be friendly and all the time have a little program they insist you follow. I finally grew up and left people like this alone. Yes, they will gossip about you but that is their business. Ratty is angling through the grass but I concentrate on blue colour schemes and ignore him. And whisper it…I used to be somewhat ratty myself in gossiping or forcing my expectations on others, but I am trying these days to be a Lady. Point your slippered toe, look at the flowers.
Push off Ratty, I’ve got curtains to sew, leaving sorrow for blue, blue fabric, enfolding me as it will.