I’m So Mad I Could Scream at the Sky

Daily Draw February 7th, 2012



Here I am screaming at the sky in the 7 of Wands because I am so tired and have severe leg cramps in both shins which has kept me leaping in and out of bed for two hours. I’ve been taking vitamins this week so I can’t see that this would be caused by a deficiency, so I think it must be from bending and stooping washing the floor and reorganizing my spare room. My knees are popping in and out too. Damn, I am so tired. Anyway, I took a melatonin to try and trick the brain into shutting down, so I have enough time to do a card draw while it is assimilating.

I am mad though, I really wanted to scream while I was putting my jacket and blanket on to come down here. MAD. If I exercise I hurt, if I don’t exercise I hurt. ANGRY I am. I want to shake my body and throw it down the stairs, I want to send it outside to freeze and die from hypothermia. I want to swear at it, I want to kick it until it is all blood. RAGE.

Okay, well I got that out.

Hmmm, I’m just reading the companion book under The Emperor and it says: “You have power and influence over your life. Be aware of what you release when you use your will-power or throw your trump on the table.” Then I skim down a bit and it says: “…you must believe that everything happens for your own best. The Emperor can therefore come when you work on transforming old anger and feelings of injustice.”

She is talking about relating to other people and intrigues and games but today it reminds me of the games I play with myself and the negative force of inner-directed anger. Today The Emperor is about inner peace with myself.

The 7 of Wands in this deck is about seizing your destiny and having to use a lot of energy to retain balance in the chaos. Also struggling to be free of patterns and having patience while that happens. The waiting time is frustrating and the past seems to repeat itself over and over. It’s an inner battle of confusion and not having things turn out as planned.

Well, she got that right. I am amazed whenever I use this deck at the fresh insights it provides. She has a different way of seeing the archetypes that I like. It was just what I needed in my snit alone in the dark. The patience, the wait, the inner peace. When my husband came home I was floundering around trying to get comfortable and whining about having no peace, so there you go, it is inside me.





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