I missed yesterday due to feeling punk, but have taken out the Secret Tarot, an old favourite of mine and the 12th deck I bought years ago. I bought a small jewellery box for it on eBay that has a slight Deco look I like.

V – THE HIEROPHANT

Yes, he is confirming his like for Delftware. Of course we always knew he collected it, but he keeps it hidden under his robe, looking for a suitable table to display it on.

One of my sisters sent me some money yesterday to buy a reading chair, side table, and lamp for my room. I have always had a dream of having a little armchair covered in Jacobean fabric in a corner of my room so that when I wake up I can sit in my chair and read the poems of Thomas Merton while snuggling under a quilt.

Where was I? Oh yes, I can no longer read in bed due to pain and back problems and have wanted this chair since I saw one in a magazine in my late teens or early twenties: a long, long time ago.

This is the closest I could get, it’s on sale this week but a bit out of budget. Jacobean fabric though! The one I saw in a magazine was covered in a red Jacobean fabric and was magic. My sister suggested I could sew a pillow in a red Jacobean fabric to fulfill the dream. Yummy.

I had been planning to get a new bed and dresser, but it’s way too expensive. So my sister suggested I paint it. The irony here is that years ago we bought antiques and stripped them of paint and now we are doing the opposite. So I’m thinking of an off-white and making a blue and white quilt for the room. I actually have a blue sampler quilt I could re-jig slightly to adapt it.

Then the chair—if only I could get a blue fabric in a Jacobean print, like this pillow. Yummy.

Il papa has many decisions to make. Today he is about family and advice and support. He also goes rather nicely with this pillow. See, he has his eye on it. Watch it Papa!

ORCHID – OBSESSION
DETERMINED

The Determined tag was one I made with a draw with the Cosmic Deck of Initiation. It is supposed to be glued into the circle book I made for that deck except I haven’t finished gluing the book. So today I am determined to glue that book so I can finally use it.

I am still stiff and sore, so yesterday I sat and read and glued a nice catalogue photo of a blue and white quilt and some Delft china over some old words in my Cinderella journal, the one with leaves from my garden, a picture of Cinderella, and inside the cover some words of Dante and a picture from William Blake of the opening of Inferno. The words in the journal I covered up referred to a deck which I have since traded.

Is that my obsession today I wonder: bringing my journals back to me? A “clearing the deck” literally?

Orchids are lovely and some have bizarre shapes and colour meant to lure insects in to pollinate them. Under the beauty is real danger for some. Insects have no choice, but we do. In Latin, the word obsess means to occupy or to sit before, as if you refused to budge from in front of someone’s door.

That doesn’t seem too interesting. I would like a blue and white Delft kitchen and bedroom, and want some day to make a blue and white Delft-coloured quilt. Now that’s an obsession that seems interesting. And on my dresser I could have an antique white cutwork scarf with an orchid in a nice Delft pot.

LADYBUG – FORTUNE
30 – LILY

I am pairing the Nature’s Wisdom Oracle with The Illustrative Lenormand Oracle today.

Wow, that ladybug really pops. This is another instance where I don’t remember a particular card from the deck. I keep wanting to say “Where was THIS one hiding?”

Ladybugs hibernate in the winter and return in the spring, and similarly, my fortune is lying dormant waiting to spring out when I least expect it. The Lily is about honesty and harmony, purity and peace.

For some reason, I again get feelings about a job coming up. I haven’t applied for one, so perhaps it is about a resurgence in my own creative work and the peace and fortune in that?

In any case these two pair up beautifully and give me some positive feelings for the day.

19 – TOWER
11 – BROOM AND WHIP
35 – ANCHOR

Unlike the disaster of the tarot Tower, the Lenormand Tower means the solid security of stones. In this card I put an engraving of a larger tower behind the gatehouse to make it doubly secure. It also has a hint of withdrawal and feeling separate for me today.

Every time I see the mother dog trying to get her puppy back from the warrior my heart breaks. Even Romans did terrible things to dogs. For today I feel this means to be kind to my pets and husband—no bickering or irritation allowed. Sweep over the whip, sweep the tongue lashings away with gentle words of kindness. The doggies are getting old, so every day counts. Same with the husband!

The Anchor is one of my favourites, and ties in with the Tower today in thinking of the home port and security, the safe haven. I have some beading to do but my arm is sore from doing it for the past couple of days so I might not work at that, but I could work at a small drawing and get an hour of work in, before berthing the ship and reading.

14 – FOX

With a few comparators to round it off…

Sometimes he looks fairly innocuous and sometimes he looks like he’s up to something. A handsome fellow but he has moments of untrustworthiness. Never be fooled by outward beauty, some people are creeps, so caution is the watch word today.

A good day for beading edging and a bail perhaps? Use the cunning of Mr. Fox to make it work out. He’s a planner, silently plodding through deep woods to get where he is going.

When I woke up today I glanced at my bookshelf, the one I call Poetry Corner, and said “Thank you for my books.” I love that shelf, which is why it is right beside my bed. I also noticed the small framed picture of Kuan Yin from the Universe card in the Chinese Tarot, that has sat on this bookshelf since there was only one shelf of poetry. A long time.

I finished a poem I was writing for a review and beaded around a cabochon yesterday, getting ready to string a necklace for this same review. Things are moving along, gelling in my mind.

SEVEN OF CUPS

This is me dreaming about doing things instead of actually getting down to work. I used to get confused between the 7 and 9 of Cups until I did this study. Now I get it.

I tend to drift off before completing things. While beading yesterday I remembered how much I like bead embroidery and how I gave it up for a time when I got discouraged after closing my business. I have three large necklaces started and want to finish them. Plus I bought ceramic cabochons and a carved bone lizard for another one.

I am getting the drifting feeling with this necklace but I must stay the course. I don’t need more food treats or to buy more beads or pendants or books, or browse the Internet and dream about new projects. I need to sit down and feel the pleasure of work and completion. It doesn’t matter if people are not buying, the designing and effort is so pleasurable in itself.

I could lie around for hours daydreaming; this card is always a warning to me of my tendency to want and dream and drift off into la-la places.

TWO OF SWORDS

Spring is coming! She is dancing and active and holding her swords in balance.

While I am not able to dance yet, I did manage to finish a painting yesterday as well as a poem I started over a year ago. That has to be good.

I had trouble sleeping due to pain and had to get up and read in the living room with a hot water bottle and a cat after midnight. I woke up in great pain today. I haven’t been too bad for two days because I’ve been gulping aspirin, but you can’t live on aspirin.

5 OF DIAMONDS

This is why I like this deck. If you look at the figure, there is an odd third hand at the waist and then you notice that the wings are not on the crucified figure, they belong to a hooded, winged being holding him up. By drawing a dark background, Ash lets this fact slowly resolve out of the picture, like awareness slowly dawning.

My mind wants to create, my body is tortured by crippling pain. Every day. Like this figure.

BUT…..

Had a bit of a computer scare yesterday with a program sucking resources and thought it might be a corrupted font to I cleaned out the font folder. Unfortunately I got rid of Georgia which is used a lot on the web and when sites were looking strange I looked at their source code and realized that the Georgia font was needed, and was able to reinstall it.

Meh—who knew?

PANSY – REASSURANCE

I am having a lot of anxiety lately, but the last time this happened, last February, it was winter and I hadn’t been out a lot. I shall have to remember that things get a bit skewy in the winter. I must take my vitamins and particularly vitamin D as I am not going out.

The Pansy is the Mom card for me as I explained in a previous post. So I found it cheering to get this card today. I like the bright yellow centre of the flower in this card, as if to say “Stay centered.” The pansy also signifies love and to realize that I am loved.

I must rename this Juxtaposition Month.

Aaaaagh, I can’t get the top off my jar of gel medium!!!! So forging on, I re-jigged the wish list at iTunes for the 50th time. I am a very careful shopper as it’s not often I get $25 to spend. I will take action soon, but I’m deciding between the last three. Smalltown Boy is battling it out with Tell Me a Bedtime Story. Jimmy says “Pick me, pick me!”

“Disparate musical taste” describes that one nicely I think.

QUEEN OF SWORDS

It’s my card! Wheee, today she is razoring through lists, swishing her tail and taking her time, letting the bean-counting mass of goo in her head work it out subconsciously while she enjoys watching bright things flying around her.

We are communicating today, we can talk to all species, even the ones we eat. Our sword is tempered by butterflies and we are on our comfy blankie under the bluest of blue skies, smelling the grass and cornflowers.

As we look off in the distance, we see something good coming. We are the Queen of Destiny.